Googling your Dates
April 11th 2007 02:34
No, in the technology section, an article broke new ground with the futuristic, breakneck speed concept of 'Googling your date'!
Sometimes, it works out to bad news... maybe your date is a weird fetish star, and you can't handle it. On the other hand, it can accelerate romance to robotic madness:
That was the case for Brad White, a 23-year-old recent college grad in Chicago, who met his current girlfriend through friends at a bar -- and immediately looked her up on Facebook. "The commonality of our music taste and friends is what prompted me to ask her out," White says, "obviously, besides the attraction."
Ah, besides the attraction.
For those of you new to the game, there's a website called Google (you need a computer to connect to the internet, first). Type in the name of your potential mate, hit enter, and prepare for the towering wave of information.
Why all the sarcasm, you ask? Shee, I've been looking up people on Google even before there was a Google. Back in tha day, when there was ugly Netscape portal and no one had a webpage. It was like sailing the open seas back then. Frames were the buzzword of flashy pages, and we knew they sucked.
I'm going to advise you to be different. Instead of Googling your date and having an entire CIA file on them before you even sit down for a coffee, why not go in totally ignorant? Yes, that's right, un-Google their name. Base your entire opinion of them solely on their physical attractiveness and what comes out of their mouth when you meet them in person. Revolutionary, yes?
Let's take a page out of my book. Back in the day, I dated a cute, dark-haired girl named Winona Ryder. If I google her name, I get these results.
What? She was arrested for shoplifting? See, I would have never dated her if I knew that.. she was a dirty, filthy criminal, thieving and a-murderin'. How could I sleep at night, knowing that I was an accomplice to her crimes and her sins?
Yes, thankfully, I never googled her name, and we spent an entire summer together, lying together in a rowboat on Moraine Lake, drinking wine, eating cheese, making love while two confused bighorn sheep stared at us.
Of course, if I had never started dating her, I would have never have had to break up with her. It just wasn't right. We couldn't work things out. Sure, she pleaded with me to give her another chance, but I knew there was no way for us to be happy together. At least, we'll always have that summer.
Plus, she had a weird fetish. I wish I had googled THAT.
*image is from the IMBd page on Winona Ryder
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Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Man, there's some pretty embarrassing stuff about me online. That's why I date girls who are still on dial up and still use netscape and think alta vista is the greatest search engine.
Comment by Brenton
Dr Spin
Tales From The Other Side
Blip Blog
Gadget Museum
Not my fault. I was trying to keep kids safe. Honest. I just posted a message that made me sound like an evil rapist on a kids epal site, where there were obviously alot of rapists lurking. And I posted something scary. And used my real email. Dumb move. Why did i use my real email? To be honest, I'm not really sure. I wanted to know if anyone owuld find it i guess - thinking more of adults who would lump praise on me for my quick thinking. All I got was a ten year old.... gahhhh! Kids have no sense of stranger danger. I'll have to do a post about it sometime. Woah this post note has taken up alot of space.
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Seriously, NO! If anyone googles my full name, oh dang.
No, nothing to do with me.
Good god, of all the people in the world, of all the names he could have had, he had to have MY EXACT SAME NAME, FIRST AND SECOND.
I'm changing my name.
Damn, wow, maybe thats why half the people I know suddenly stopped talking to me with the advent of the internet
I'm so gonna kill someone, I bet the real dude who made it is from my old high school or something, I dunno, makes no sense otherwise.
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
brenton, it might be worth it to bury your search results with extra posts.
ahmed, why, what's your real name?
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Personally, I was wondering how Ciabatta bread could possibly ruin anyone's life......of course, if you're wheat intolerant, I guess I could understand it.
Christ....what the f@#k am I going on about???
Very amusing post. I liked it a lot.